"The Spaghetti Incident?"

Set lists and a little bit of Rock

Monday, 25 February 2008

The Devil is a loser

and he's my Bitch.
 
God, I'm looking forward to Rock 2 wellington. Bring on Zakk Wylde.
 
So soem rough thoughts on on the bands playing.
 
Poison.
 
When I was in primary school the first dubbed tape I ever got was Poison. Every Rose was the biggest baddest song ever. If you're going to go to the gigs for one song and one song only, this would be it. I bet the lead singer is a fat(ish) bastard.
 
Lordi
Unholy Eurovision Contest winners. Therefore they are as good as Celine Dion. Actually they seem to be be the unholy off spring of a Rob Zombie / Megadeath / Ozzy Ozborne threesome. Think The Darkness but without the Freddie Mercury.
 
Ozzy Osborne.
 
Once he used to the Prince of Darkness in Black Sabbath. Then he briefly terrorised the 80s and legendarily out Motley Crued Motley Crue. And then he met Zakk Wydle and wrote the best music of his carreer. His wife's a selfish ego maniac and he's lost most of his singing ability being reduced to the mandatory / comical "I can't hear you' crowd plea. Its ronic know that he actually cannot hear you and needs a wheel chair to get around. Zakk Wlyde will get him through by drinking beer and spitting on the crowd and showing everyone that Hendrix was a pussy.  
 
Whitesnake.
 
What a rude name. Bring on the Cherry Pie. We want a taste.
 
Alice Cooper
 
Recognises that suicide is stoopid. Which in rock and roll shows enlightenment. Is respectful of Native American Indians. Let's hope he brings his pet snakes. But not his white one.
 
Kiss
 
Knights in Satan's Service. Do you sense a theme of unholiness in this lineup? Kiss will be the crowd pleaser with their sing a long hits. Yes, this band was made for loving your mother, sister and your uncomfortably hot auntie. At the same time. So lock em up before you leave for the show.
 

Friday, 15 February 2008

You've hurt my balls again

 
Slash from Guns n' Roses has retired from the hard drinking, smacked out, groupie-fuelled  rock scene to a world of suburban family bliss.  Almost. Mr and Mrs Slash have two cute little boys Cash, age three, and London, who is six.  London may be a chip off the old block.
 
A babysitter got the full force of Slash Jnr's charm. She was accosted by London with the words  "You can't get past me unless you take off your clothes - you're hot!" And when she went to kiss the boys goodnight he told her he wanted to stick his tongue down her throat. Alas sleep didn't come and the boys began to fight. When Cash started crying to London "You've hurt my balls again", the babysitter decided that night would be her last.
 

Sunday, 3 February 2008

It seems excessive but that doesn't mean it didn't happen...

Review of Slash's Biography Slash

So like I just finished reading Slash's biography. It's a totally fascinating insight into what makes him tick and it serves to put the whole GNR "I hate Axl Rose"  thing of his in context. Well, it's his side of the story anyway. As it reads Slash was too wasted to remember too much!

Some great stories are shared. Most of them involve fucking, or drugs, combinations of the two and stories of how the band got together, had sex with anything that looked their way, sold a few albums and broke up.

The story that comes to mind right away is Slash and Izzy are having sex with a some girl (its always some girl). As he is not using a condom, Izzy pulls out at the apt timing.. and serves his load all over Slash's leg.

Slash's decision to become a musician is amusing for his naivety. He found this professional bass player who agreed to teach him if he turned up with a guitar. So Slash gets off his grandmother a acoustic guitar which only has one string on it. So he turns up for his first lesson with the guitar and his first lesson is thus the difference between a bass guitar and a 6 string.

Some interesting facts:
  • November Rain in its original form as a jam thing was over 18 minutes long.
  • You can melt down Oxy Contin and inject yourself with it.
  • Slash did the soundtrack for Beverly Hills Cop 3
  • Slash played on a Rod Stewart album.


Slash

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